So I was talking to a friend the other day who read my most recent column and was disappointed in me apparently. Not so much at the idea of "F.W.B' that got to her, it was in her opinion the fact that people could be so jaded about life, love and relationships enough to actually partake in this type of thing. So then we got to talking...
All things came up, like the first crush you ever had (Dave Frame, 6th grade) the first kiss you ever had (Chris, i think his name was, he was 5 years older than me - i was 7 he was 12. It was a full on french kiss), the first Love of your life (Mike M....), the first time you had sex (Mike O.), the first time you had sex and meant it (JR) and then the first time you felt real love. This is where we came to a deep probing part of the conversation.
What is Real Love? What makes it more important than your first love, and beyond that how can puppy love grow into real love? So we had to break it down.
Puppy love is more than your first crush. Its more intense, more than just a fleeting bunch of feelings for someone who doesn't even know you exist. And even if they do know you exist doesn't mean they like you back at all. Yes, there are those crushes that get together and become 'boyfriend & girlfriend' but i've never been a part of it so I don't believe it exists.
But real love is so much more. I realized it the first time when I was thinking about how long i'd known the person and I realized it was only 4 months. A big part of me felt like I was wrong, that I knew him for so much longer than that. I was so convinced I was wrong I asked the guy "how long have we known each other?" and he confirmed it for me. I thought to myself "I know this person like i've known them my whole life. there's not a thing I don't tell them and not a thing they don't know about me - how is this possible". But it most definitely was.
I started to realize that I only knew this man a short time yet I can't for the life of me remember my life before I met him, and I can't picture my life without him. It was more than friendship or even best friends, it was this bond this connection this incredible want and need for the other person and wanting to do whatever you can for them. It was just amazing.
So after I explained this all in a lot further detail she was happy. Because she felt as if the buried Hopeless Romantic from deep inside me was awoken from a slumber. I then told her not to hold her breath.