Ask Me Elyse is a question and answer advice column dealing with a wide range of topics including relationships, friendships, work, and family. Ask Me Elyse tries to give advice that is saucy yet practical, empathetic yet honest. Do you have a burning question that you would like to ask? Is there an issue that you can't seem to figure out? If so email your questions to askmeelyse@gmail.com.
Dear Elyse,
I am a single mother of a daughter with Asperger’s Syndrome. I try to date but she has a difficulty sharing her attention with me. In addition, there are only a few babysitters that she tolerates. Her father lives far away. I’d like to date - but yikes! The last time I tired to date, she broke into a fit when I mentioned bringing home a friend.
Yours, Mom of Aspie
Dear Mom of Aspie,
It sounds like you have two concerns: One your daughter’s reaction to you going out and two your dates response to your daughter. But you are forgetting the most important aspect: yourself. You need to treat yourself well otherwise you won't have the energy to treat others well. I suggest giving your daughter rewards for allowing you to go out. Also make the situation extra special for her when you go out: order food from her favorite restaurant. Rent a movie that you know she will like, etc. In addition, assess your date’s position about differences about Aspergers by bringing it up in conversations without revealing that about your daughter. See your date’s reaction and gauge if you think they will be able to handle your daughter’s differences. Than, tell them and …
Yours, Elyse
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Elyse Bradshaw Seinfeld is a writer living on Long Island. She is working on her first book, Stripper on The Loose which will be coming out soon. She considers herself a student of life: from her experiences as a recruiter, a student advisor, a masseuse, a chef, a tennis professional, and a radio show booker, she has seen and lived it all! For more of Elyse's helpful tips, be sure to check out her blog, at AskMeEylse.Blogspot.com.