Finding the perfect Christmas gift for the woman in your life can be a bit of a minefield; yes, you theoretically should know her well enough by now to be wise to her loves and hates, but it seems that time after time, men just get it a bit (or a lot) wrong. There’s the supposedly sexy underwear that’s either too big or too small (both are insulting), the item of clothing that is definitely not in her preferred color or style, the perfume set that is definitely not her favorite fragrance, or the recipe book that suggests she should spend more time in the kitchen — looking after him. Sometimes men get it so wrong that their choice of gift could do more than annoy the women they love; it could even bring about the end of their relationship!
Conducting a survey of 3,000 respondents, DatingAdvice wanted to find out which presents New York women have received that would cause them to call time on their relationship. Men of New York, if you want to avoid being single over Christmas, we suggest you read this carefully…
#1 A Diet Book or Weight Loss Program Membership
This gift is particularly thoughtless given that Christmas is one of the times of year that people usually eat the most, splurging on turkey or ham, stuffing, mashed potatoes, gravy, cornbread, cookies, the works! No one wants to receive a gift that makes them think their partner believes they’ve turned into a tubby butterball, especially after eating one.
#2 Cleaning Supplies or a Vacuum Cleaner
Let’s face it, no woman wants to be made to feel as if she’s no more than a mere maid, whose only job it is to clean up around her man. We’re not in the 1950s anymore, Toto!
#3 Personal Hygiene Products
Ah, that slight whiff of suggesting you might have… a slight whiff about you. Anything from mouthwash to deodorant basically says, ‘You stink.’
#4 Last-Minute "Panic Gifts" from Drugstores
Nothing says ‘I literally gave this no thought’ like a generic ‘present’ from the likes of Walgreens or CVS. From a random perfume gift set to a cheap, own-brand lipstick, these should be avoided at all costs.
#5 Unrequested Self-Help books
Woooo boy, this is a screaming no-no, for it suggests that you think something is seriously wrong with your lady love. Yes, many men like to think that they can offer a practical solution to any problem, but this, my friends, is not the way to do it. Unless your partner is genuinely seeking help for a specific issue — from giving up smoking to getting over the death of a pet — AVOID this at all costs.
#6 A Cookbook For Beginners
Want to subtly, or perhaps not so-subtly, tell someone that you don’t like their cooking? Then consider giving them a cookbook, especially one designed for beginners and particularly if they didn’t put this on their wish list. Men, this will go down as well as burnt toast if you choose it for your partner.
#7 A Book On Improving Social Skills
Any book on life skills, or social etiquette could be seen as a negative critique on someone, even if you have the best intentions. There is no quicker way to get on someone’s bad side than by gifting a book that could potentially be seen as a criticism of their personality or decision making.
#8 Fitness Equipment Or Gym Membership
Many of us have weight loss goals set for our New Year’s resolution or plan on taking out a gym membership come 2025 - while it may seem like a good idea to cover the cost of this for someone you love it could also be seen as a big insult. To that end, its best to steer clear of any fitness related gifts, such as at home gym equipment, gym clothes, or health supplements unless someone specifically requests these.
The survey also had some other interesting findings; the main thing that partners said was the hardest part about buying gifts for women was: ‘She already has everything’ (28%) — patently not true, just ask her for ideas if you’re stuck! Another 23% lamely said, ‘I have no idea what she likes’ — er, hello, you’re dating her — if you don’t know by now, you never will. Clearly, you’re just not paying attention to her. Another 17% said both ‘She drops hints I can never pick up on’ (sigh) and ‘She’s impossible to shop for,’ (really!?) while some scrooges out there (16%) claimed ‘She has expensive taste.’
The most last-minute gift women have ever received was a gift card with the amount written in pen (42%). Nearly a quarter (22%) said they received a supposedly ‘thoughtful’ IOU, which essentially just says the man couldn’t be bothered. Even worse, 19% gave something they got at the gas station, and most pathetic of all, 17% got a random item from their own closet!
Women can be very forgiving, however, and over a third (38%) said they would put the situation behind them if they got an amazing, surprise, follow-up gift (unlikely, if DatingAdvice’s survey is anything to go by). Tying at 31% was a heartfelt apology (okay, plenty of groveling) and a romantic dinner or similarly sweet gesture.
It’s not like women expect something expensive and unattainable, either; if their partner had to buy a gift on a budget, 28% said they would appreciate something homemade and thoughtful, while 25% would be over the moon with a sincere love letter. Another 20% would love a cozy blanket or candles for relaxing, 15% would be very happy with a subscription for a small indulgence, like coffee or chocolates, and 13% would just love a simple but meaningful piece of jewelry.
Finally, if their partner could have one gift-free Christmas, what they would like to do instead would be spending the entire day together with no distractions (31%), followed by planning a romantic getaway (28%) or cooking an amazing holiday meal (26%). Another 15% said they would want him to write them a love letter or heartfelt card.